“It’s a jungle gym, not a ladder” from Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg, crediting @pattiesellers

“It is What You See It Is”

Motherhood and career are two important aspects of a woman’s life that can bring fulfillment and joy. However, balancing these two can be challenging, especially in a society where the expectations of women are often high.

Today we want to highlight and talk around the quote  “It is what you see it is”

that reminds us that our perspective towards motherhood and career can greatly impact our ability to balance the two, if that is what you are looking at. 

Motherhood and Career: A Balancing Act

For many women, motherhood is a full-time job that requires a lot of time and energy. It is also a job that comes with a lot of emotional and physical demands. On the other hand, a career demands time, effort, and commitment. Finding a balance between these two can be a daunting task, especially in the early days.

However, the quote “It is what you see it is” reminds us that our perspective can make all the difference.

If we see motherhood and career as two separate entities that need to be balanced, we may find ourselves constantly struggling to meet our expectations and finding ourselves toppling to the sidelines more often than we wish for. But, should we see them as complementary aspects of our lives, where we can find ways to integrate them , creates pockets to learn and unlearn from either and cross apply the expectations, demands and prioritizing tasks , we can create a fulfilling life.

The Top 4 things you can focus on: 

1. Prioritize: Creating a list of tasks that need your presence to be completed each day and prioritize them based on importance. This can help you stay organized and focus on what really matters.( that day)
2. Set realistic goals: Set achievable goals for yourself, both in your personal life and at work. This helps you to feel more in control of your life and reduce stress.
3. Communication: Talk to your parter, support systems, networks and employer to find ways to accommodate your schedule. There is always a way to “negotiate like a mom” ( A topic we cover in our upcoming event)
4. Embrace technology: Use technology to your advantage, whether that means using apps to help you manage your schedule or understanding ways to create systems. 

Changing Perspectives: From Guilt to Empowerment

One of the biggest challenges of balancing motherhood and career is the feeling of guilt. Many women feel guilty for not spending enough time with their children or for not being fully committed to their career.

However, the quote “It is what you see it is” challenges us to change our perspective from guilt to empowerment.

Instead of feeling guilty for not being able to do it all, we can empower ourselves by recognizing the value of both motherhood and career. We can also seek support from our partners, family, and friends to help us navigate this balancing act. Instead of living up to the “super hero” tag, it is about “BEing” in the role you are playing. Instead of depleting the tank to give it your all, it is visualizing filling your tank by being present. 

Understanding that there are ways and tools to maneuver, processes and mindset changes required that let the women move away from the “guilt messaging” to “redefining her own ways for feeling empowered”

Top 4 Things you can focus on:

1. Practice self-compassion: In taking care of others, we often forget to Be kind to ourselfs and practice self-compassion. Acknowledge that it’s okay to make mistakes, and remind yourself that you’re doing the best you can.
2. Reframe your thinking: Instead of thinking about what you’re not doing as a or because of you are a mother, focus on the positive things you are doing. For example, instead of thinking “I didn’t spend enough time with my child today,” think “I did my best to balance my work and family responsibilities today.”
3. Let go of perfectionism: Don’t get sold on the idea of being the “Super hero” or “The Perfect Mom” . Let go of that idea. Enjoy and find laughter in being the imperfect or just good enough mother who is doing her best.
4. Connect with other mothers: Connect with other mothers who understand what you’re going through. This can help you feel less alone and provide you with support and advice. Community goes a long way in helping us survive. ( Join our Community of Mothers at Meetmumz.com)

Creating a Fulfilling Life

Career or Career Pause are both stages in the life of a mother where the learnings never stop. The ability and charm that focusses on the little daily nuances, the work that you do ( paid or unpaid), the impact it shows and the meaning it creates for those around you , alongside motherhood is enough to create a Fulfilling Life  

Ultimately, the quote “It is what you see it is” reminds us that we have the power to create a fulfilling life that integrates motherhood and career.(and even career pause).

By changing our perspective and recognizing the value our current stage has to offer, we can find ways to balance and create a life that brings us joy and satisfaction.

Top things to decide having a Career OR a Career Pause. 

1. Identify what brings you joy: Identify the things in your life that bring you joy, whether that’s spending time with your family, pursuing a hobby, or working on a project, upskilling your learnings, learning new things.
2. Set personal goals: Set personal goals for yourself, away from that of your roles you play. Celebrate your accomplishments along the way.
3. Build meaningful relationships: Build meaningful relationships with friends, family, and colleagues who support and encourage you.
4. Take care of your health: Take care of your emotional, physical and mental health. 
5. Practice mindfulness: Practice mindfulness by being present in the moment and focusing on the things that matter most to you.
6. Embrace your journey: Embrace your journey and remember that everyone’s path is different. Focus on what’s important to you and celebrate the life you’ve built, whether you’re in the midst of a career or taking a career pause.

Conclusion

Balancing motherhood and career is not easy, but it is possible. It requires us to shift our perspective and recognize the value of both.

“It is what you see it is.”

Saying that, we would also like to celebrate a career pause or shift that can be a powerful way to shift the perspective towards women on motherhood and career breaks. Taking a break from a career to care for a child or pursuing a new career path can be an opportunity for growth and development too. It is about redefining the meaning of creating a fulfilled “successful” life. 

SUMMARY POINTS

• [ ] Shift perspective from guilt to empowerment when balancing motherhood and career
• [ ] Seek support from partners, family, and friends to help navigate balancing motherhood and career
• [ ] Recognize the value of both motherhood and career as one entity to create a fulfilling life that integrates both aspects

If you are facing a difficult decision between motherhood and career, and are in Singapore, we invite you to join us for our upcoming conference

AT CROSSROADS

Tickets Link:

Our conference will provide you with valuable resources and support to help you navigate this complex balancing act. We understand that making this decision can be overwhelming, and we want to help you make the best choice for you and your family. By attending our conference, you will have the opportunity to connect with other women who have faced similar challenges and learn from their experiences. Our conference will provide you with the tools and knowledge you need to make an informed decision about your future. We believe that by empowering yourself with the right resources and support, you can create a fulfilling life that integrates both motherhood and career.

So if you’re at a crossroads, let us help you find your way. Join us for our upcoming conference and take the first step towards creating a life that brings you joy and satisfaction. Get Tickets Here: TICKETS

Image and Article Inspired by:

https://womened.org/blog/you-have-to-see-it-to-be-it-trying-to-combine-motherhood-and-a-career